it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
