Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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