Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
