Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Small penises have feelings too.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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