Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
