remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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