I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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