it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
