Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
