hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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