I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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