Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize