mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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