brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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