FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
