I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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