Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize