Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
im holly from the hills drunk
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
