Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
