I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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