Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
