I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
