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he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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