There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
