Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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