Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
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i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
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In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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