I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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