I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
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making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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