do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
