he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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