we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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