Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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