I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
