Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
