areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
