I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
