I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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