dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
