i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
