The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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