I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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