# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
