i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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