At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
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Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
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I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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