Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
