We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
