nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
