he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It's just like the Real World with babies
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I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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