D3 body, D1 cock
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
