How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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