Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
