i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize