No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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