either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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