He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
