there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
