A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
